Helping Our Children Gain Self-Esteem

Most children with high self-esteem feel loved and competent in doing things on their own. They grow to become productive and happy adults. Listed below are a few things Parents can do to build their children’s self-esteem.

Allow your children to do things for themselves and let them work things out on their own. Sometimes we things for our children because we’re in a hurry and don’t have the patience, so it’s just easier and faster to do it for them. Doing this takes away the chance for your children to learn new skills. The more challenges you allow them to face, the more competent and confident they will become.

Give them choices that are within reason so they don’t feel powerless in choosing for themselves. Offer the chance for them to choose one thing from another. Making simple choices at a young age will prepare them for making any difficult choices they may face as they grow.

Only offer praises that are sincere. Children can detect when we’re being insincere, so state specifics regarding what you are praising them on; for example, if you’re praising their artwork you can say “I love the way you blended those two colors together to make a third color.”

Let them know that no one is perfect and that you don’t expect them to be perfect. We shouldn’t over react when they make mistakes. Instead, we should use it as a teaching moment and try to find something positive from that mistake in order to avoid negative reactions.

Avoid the trap of comparing them to siblings or other children. Let them know they are unique individuals with different skills and talents. That’s what makes the world interesting and fun.

Give them something to be responsible for; age appropriate chores such as helping load and folding the laundry, and setting the table.

We often tell children not to call each other names, the same also applies to us. We cannot call them names when we are upset and at our wits end or belittling them and not giving much credence to their feelings. When you find yourself getting too upset with them take a break and walk away from them for a few minutes to avoid saying something you don’t mean or regret. Make sure you help them understand that it’s their action you dislike, not them.

Last but not least, spend one on one time with your children. It doesn’t have to be anything that will cost you too much time and money. You can set aside one moment out of the week to go out to eat, go bike riding or go for a walk. This will give you a chance to have some wonderful conversations without them feeling as though you’re pressing them for information they don’t feel like sharing. The conversation will just start to flow naturally because they are doing something enjoyable with you at the same time.

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Headmaster: Dr. John Moncure

​Telephone: ​803-432-6828

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